The story: Joker is back in Gotham city, regrouping his paladins to strike back. This time he is up not only against Bruce Wayne, Batman’s high society alter ego but also the Head of the Gotham Police Department Commissioner Gordon and the city’s newest hero district attorney Harvey Dent. As the battle heats up as both sides figure out things are different then they seem to be…

Flickcritique says: The movie is good but way too long. Heath Ledger aka The Joker is amazing. No doubt it is the role of his life. I am truly sad, he is not going to act again The rest, Christian Bale aka Batman, Maggie Gyllenhaal aka Rachel Dawes (Batman’s ex), Aaron Eckhart aka Harvey Dent (Gotham’s district attorney) they are all okay but never even close to what Ledger managed to achieve. The beginning is too long and I felt like this movie has been stretched purely for the purpose of making it longer but every time I saw Joker’s mimics I was kinda okay with it

Conclusion: Watch it, it’s good

Best movie quote [by Joker]: “Why so serious?”

Watch it if you liked: Batman Begins (2005), Spider Man 3 (2007), The Incredible Hulk (2008), basically any super hero movie

Some really cool Gotham city sites, you might want to have a look on:

• http://thegothamtimes.com/ - Gotham city newspaper site
• http://thehahahatimes.com/ - hacked-by-the-Joker version of the site
• http://wearetheanswer.org/ - an initiative of the people of Gotham city, aiming to improve the security situation

The story: Fry is fed up with his nymphomaniac girlfriend, so he makes friends with an anomaly, that turns out to be a lonely universe. A promising relationship starts…

Flickcritique says: I consider myself Matt Groening’s biggest fan… The Simpsons TV show, The Simpsons Movie, Futurama the show… even the Futurama: Bender’s Big Score movie aka The Futurama Movie was kinda okay but Futurama: The Beast with a Billion Backs is sort of boring. Not mean enough Not ridiculous Not creative enough Disappointing I have to admit, even for heartbroken, hardcore Matt Groening fans like me. Matt, please do it better in future, will you?

Conclusion: I can not recommend Futurama: The Beast with a Billion Backs

Watch it if you liked: well, if you are a Matt Groening fanatic, desparately looking for Matt being happy, you might give it a chance but do not expect too much… you have been warned!

The story: Bruce Banner found a safe hideout in South America, making his living from a McJob (not familiar with the term? Maybe you should read more Coupland books!), secretly trying to find a cure for his condition. Unfortunately, the US Army considering him a super weapon finds out and he has to run for his life again. Until, an elite solider decides to experiment a bit with Hulk’s contaminated blood, mutating himself into a villain Hulk, the Abomination. The rest of the confrontation is predictable… a nice destruction orgy follows

Flickcritique says: Muuuuuch better the the first Hulk movie is the nicest thing I can say about this one. I assume Edward Norton’s decision to play the main character can be explained only by some sort of financial issues he’s facing these days. Otherwise, a great intellectual like him playing that part would be pure masochism. Liv Tyler playing the eye-candy girlfriend keeps on being sad and miserable, as she always was ever since The Armageddon. Seems to be the type of acting she’s into. The plot is predictable, which is one of the worst judgments I can make about a flick A small hint to a possible sequel with Hulk and the Iron Man together gives a flicker of hope for the future

Conclusion: Watch it if the following criteria matches: You are very bored. Weather is crap (think summer 2007 in Ireland). You have no girlfriend/boyfriend around/all your friends went on vacation. You run out of booze and your video game console is broken

You might like it if you got excited about: Spider-Man (2002), Hulk (2003), Iron Man (2008)

The story: Tony Stark, multimillionaire tycoon/brilliant engineer/jerk/playboy gets hurt during field testing of a new weapon for the US Army. Even worse, he gets kidnapped by cave living terrorists, who want to make him build a weapon. In order to escape he secretly builds an armored combat suite prototype in captivity. The design is so promising, he keeps improving it even after being rescued. Big surprise, the improved suite comes handy when Tony’s business associate decides to do what ever is needed to stop him from changing his life and the objectives of their war profiting syndicate.

Flickcritique says: It’s not happening frequently that I fall asleep watching “an action” movie but I did watching this one. I had a quick nap, somewhere in the middle of the long conversations Don’t get me wrong, Robert Downey Jr. does a great job and Gwyneth Paltrow’s poor performance is being well compensated by (too) few super hot scenes with Leslie Bibb. I even liked the movie but there is just not enough action for a Marvel adaptation. Despite the eye candy and some good sense of humor I was a bit disappointed

Watch it if you liked: Spider-Man (2002), Hulk (2003), The Punisher (2004)

The story: In the middle of the Cold War, the Soviets seek for what they assume was an ancient psychic super weapon that makes the A-Bomb look like a kids toy. In order to get it, they need the help of Dr. Henry Walton Jones, Jr. aka Indiana Jones. Soon, the evil Reds, led by pageboy style cut Irina Spalko find out Indy is not as cooperative as they wished he was The settings change, the race for the price speeds up, the effects become more and more impressive… guess how the story ends up?

Flickcritique says: I was concerned my hero was going to be exploit but the forth episode, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is actually quiet good. I loved the hot pursuits! And Harrison Ford’s sense of humor! And the impressive CGI (watch out for the mushroom cloud!). Only the suffering from an Oedipus complex sidekick is a little annoying but I can look over this What I really liked however was the small hints and links to the previous Indy movies

Conclusion: It’s a typical Indiana Jones movie, even though Harrison Ford isn’t as young any more, as he was shooting the previous ones. I did not like much what the treasure turned out to be but I’d still recommend the movie to all Indy fans. And even if you think the previous Indianan Jones movies were prehistoric, give it a try, it’s much better the any recently released archeology-007 James Bond crossovers, as the “National Treasure” flicks

Watch it if you liked: Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981), Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

The story: A bunch of village people and David Drayton, the once to be known as The Punisher fella are about to shop at a hardware store as some wired mist surrounds the community, trapping everyone inside. Soon the people realize it’s everything else but a regular mist, mainly since there are a lot of archaic, bloodthirsty beasts in it. And worse, the most meanly one is right inside the store…

Flickcritique says: I am not a big fan of Stephen King, since I feel like most of his novels are essentially the same in terms of the content/plot. But I liked this one, mainly for the dark, not Hollywood-style at all ending. It’s not as good as the adaptation of Misery (1990) but then again that novel (as well as the movie!) was a masterpiece, wasn’t it?

Conclusion: It’s a good enough flick for me Not exactly the kind of movie I’d be watching with my girlfriend but great to watch with similar-minded friends. Thumbs up from the Flickcritique

Watch it if you liked: AVP: Alien vs. Predator (2004), The Fog (2005) , AVPR: Aliens vs Predator - Requiem (2007)

The story: Jake Taylor finds his way to deal with his personal issues by training martial arts sports, keeping in mind his ultimate goal: taking revenge on another high school boy who humiliated him in front of a crowd. Big surprise, he manages to become really good, kicks the shit out of the bad ass, gets his ex-girlfriend and eventually the respect he is seeking for.

Flickcritique says: In my personal opinion if you are pubertal, twelve years old or younger or borderline retarded, maybe because mummy was heavily on crack, when she was pregnant with you and/or cause she dropped you a couple of times when you were a small baby, then you might consider watching this movie. Otherwise just forget about it. It is a mystery to me how a good actor like Djimon Honsu (remember him being brilliant in “Blood Diamond”?) could waste his time and talent on this, playing the part of the martial arts teacher Jean Roqua. My guess is this is the outcome of a lost bet or something like this. Oh, almost forgot to mention, the rest of the actors seem to be people randomly picked from the street, maybe hobby actors at their best.

Conclusion: Karate Kid meets Bloodsport

Watch it if you liked: The Karate Kid (1984), The Karate Kid (1984), Bloodsport (1988)… dammit, you still reading! I guess you are really young and either of these titles rings a bell… ok, watch it if you liked The Fast and the Furious (2001) and/or xXx (2002) but keep in mind it’s not ‘that’ great

The story: An upper class, perfectly happy family, mom Ann, dad George and an about twelve years young George junior (Georgie) just arrived at their beautiful, spacey summer house and are about to unpack when two youngsters, Paul and Peter, show up at their doorstep asking for a couple of eggs. A neighborly request turns quickly into an unpleasant conversation and eventually, the family faces the horror of being held hostage in their own house. Despite their regular and extreme violence rushes, both the tantalizers show perfect manners, along with a high sense of hygiene and order. They are remarkably dressed, all in white including their gloves. They keep on hurting their victims both, physically and even worse mentally in the course of a twelve hours bet over their life’s. It’s obvious that chances are little balanced in this game… I won’t tell more, since the ending is little Hollywood-stylish

Flickcritique says: The beginning is lame and a bit too long for my taste. Once the story line gets started, the movie gets more exciting, too. Ann (Naomi Watts) does a great, great job playing her part of the aging but classy mom. So does Paul (Michael Pitt). He’s been a great psychopath in ‘Murder by Numbers’ before. And this time again he’s very convincing. The rest of the actors are average or worse. I was particularly disappointed by George (Tim Roth), who has done a great job playing in ’28 Weeks Later’. Or even a better one in Tarantino’s ‘Four Rooms’. But not this time.

What I liked about the movie is that you never get to see any actual, physical violence, though the tension does not suffer under this fact at all. Also, the idea of the Paul addressing to the audience, asking for their opinion is sort of refreshing. What I did not like is the disappointment of not being surprised by the movie at any moment. Every minute seems to be predictable Also, some reactions of the captives seem a little strange, e.g. as the parents face the ultimate horror they seem to be remarkable little emotional about it.

Conclusion: An okay-to-watch psychopath remake with a few flaws

Watch it if you liked: The Shining (1980), Panic Room (2002), Murder by Numbers (2002)

The story: Mammoth hunter D’Leh suffers under the reputation of a man whose father was a failure. He gets his chance to show guts when his village gets raided by evil, Arabic looking (no stereotypes here) invaders, who enslave the survivors. Trailing the bad guys and the slave gang he goes on a dangerous journey that ultimately leads him to at what seems to be the capitol of a higher civilization, very much Aztec/Pharaoh-style. Once D’Leh made friends all he has to do at the climax of the flick it to challenge the god-emperor, a white man, big surprise, huh?

Flickcritique says: What a piece of s***** movie! Did you know that women 10,000 B.C. looked better then nowadays average overpaid, cocaine-sniffing 19 years old models? Perfectly shaved legs, styled up with make up, smiling in the day with their perfectly white teeth. Seriously, they were HOT. Mammoth hunter however seem to be huge Bob Marley fans, with their dreadlocks. And saber-toothed, two tons tigers are cuddly, if you just talk to them nicely. I could go on an on. But it ain’t worth it Lack of realism or a story, paired with poor acting skills makes this movie obsolete.

Conclusion: A crappy movie spiced up with average CGI effects. Not recommended

Watch it only if you really, really enjoyed: Alexander (2004), The Passion of the Christ (2004), Apocalypto (2006)

The Story: The English hit man Ray (Collin Farrell) and his associate and friend Ken (Brendan Gleeson) arrive in Bruges after an assignment that just went wrong. They are supposed to stay down for a while. While Ken, the senior killer is enjoying the beautiful medieval town, sightseeing and having a relaxed time, Ray is suffering from both, little excitement in ‘the shit hole’ as he calls the town and the guilt, as it was him who made a bad mistake. What he does not know is that it is supposed to be his final vacation, before he would be hold to account by his principled boss, Harry (Ralph Fiennes).

Both, Ray and Ken meet during their days in Bruges Marie, the advanced in pregnancy hotel owner, the local drug dealing beauty Chloë, her former boy friend and small-time criminal Eirik and a person of short stature Jimmy, an American actor shooting a Dutch movie in Bruges. As Harry realizes that Ken has second thoughts about executing his orders and punishing Ray, he makes the effort and comes to the town personally, to make sure that this time things go smoothly. Obviously, his arrival leads to a show down that is anything but what he had in mind.

Flickcritique says: It’s the dialogs that make the movie exceptional – they are just amazingly funny Music is also very good, particularly the piano jingling as Ken and Ray make their obligatory tourist tour through Bruges’ foggy canals. Clearly it is Collin Farrell’s best movie so far. Same applys to Ralph Fiennes. Brendan Gleeson is as brilliant, as he always is. Together, they make a fabulous acting trio. On top of this you get to see a magnificent, medieval town in autumnal, little saturated colors. The flick, spiced up with loads of anything but politically correct jokes ‘In Bruges’ is absolutely worth watching.

Conclusion: it is a great movie – highly recommended

Best movie quote: Almost all dialogue are brilliantly funny. But this one is just hilarious:

“If I’d grown up on a farm and was retarded, Bruges might impress me. But I didn’t, so it doesn’t.”

Watch it if you liked: The Boondock Saints (1999), Very Bad Things (1998)